new leaf!

okay, okay, okay.

it's time for a positive outlook, and some positive changes! there's a library position in Derry that I might apply to; it sounds really interesting and fulfilling. I also need to send the guy in Portland all my Americorps information.

And I really, REALLY know I want to go back to school and get my MLS (Master's in Library Science), perhaps with a concentration in school libraries or archives. Its what I wanted to do two years ago, and it turns out, it's still what I want to do. My English Master's was, I think, a necessary stop on the road to my library future. Sometimes a person and their profession are just destined to be together, I think, and even if it takes me and my profession years to come together, that'll be okay. Being a librarian would fulfill everything: my need to educate and enlighten, my love of organized books, my passion for literature, and my obsession with everything involving research. You know you love research when JSTOR is on your facebook favorites. I think it's meant to be. Someday, somehow, it will happen.

on to more important things...

okay then. grade breakdown as i have it so far:

"B" on final paper in grammar (which i am MAD about, because she said it would have been an "A" paper if i'd followed the assignment more closely. i'm mostly mad because that is something i would say to one of my own students if they wrote a good paper that didn't have anything to do with the prompt).

"A" on the final paper in victorian lit (which is a HUGE relief because i was getting nervous).

and i'm still unsure about the shakespeare one. i'm still pretty nervous about that one, because it's supposed to be my "extended seminar" master's paper (and it was only 23 pages...). so, extended it isn't, but hopefully it's good enough for at least an "A-."

i worked on my resume for a while yesterday, adding in a decent objective and summary. i never had a summary before, maybe that was part of my problem. so now, we'll see. i just haven't found any normal job that sounds even remotely interesting, and i know that sounds stupid and stuck-up, but i can't help it. so, if i don't find anything that i'd be willing to apply for in the next week or so, i'm going to start applying for the americorps stuff i think sounds great.

and that's that.

done? done!

well, all right then. it seems that all my papers are finished. hm. it still doesn't feel like it's really over yet. i guess it will feel real once i have a job, and am wishing for the days when i was stressing out about papers.

i have to say, i was not stressed on friday while i was writing a good 2/3 of my paper. no, i was pretty happy just sitting in the library doing my research. it felt good to feel good about it. i only got 23 pages, but you know what? i'm not worried. i think those pages are pretty quality. and besides, with my works cited it comes to 25, so i'm happy.

now we'll just see when grades come in. but i'm pretty proud of my little rosalynd paper. and my little arthur conan doyle paper. AND my little grammar paper.

now i just have the grammar final exam on monday, and that's the end.

hm, i have mixed feelings. :)

but at least the being done called for a celebration, so pete and i went to hampton beach and got blink's frydoe (a.k.a. fried dough) and slush puppies. "yum" is all i have to say to that.

2/3!

it feels weird to be so close to the end!

still have to finish this paper on rosalynd by friday at 5.

i don't think it's sunk in yet.

...now what?

mere days

hello, followers of my life. i have excellent news for you! i have officially handed in 1 out of the 3 final papers due this week. i wash my hands of it! now, on to round 2: grammar. i think it's going to work out fine, and i think mary clark is going to like it. it's my plan to finish that one up today, as well. that will mean i have wed, thurs, and friday before 5 to finish the one about rosalynd. and, i didn't tell you this, but people at school were really digging my presentation on rosalynd, so that is definitely a good sign. i'm happy now to have a direction.

in short, i feel so much better about everything. if i could just figure out how to be less of a procrastinator, i would really apply for phD programs. the reason i end up hating things is because i wait until the last minute. that's really the truth. right now? i love being an english literature person! i love reading, and i really do enjoy writing about that reading. it's just the deadlines that kill me; the feeling that i'm writing into an academic void. i don't know. i do like it. it just doesn't like me.

:)

p.s. i'm going to guest-blog on the fashion site in july!!! YIPPERS!

boring, i know

so, yes, my school work has been taking over my life, which is why i talk about nothing else. but i promise, it will all be over soon!

i am happy to report that i will definitely be done with five pages of my shakespeare essay by monday night. i think that means it will be about 20% done! the final is due on the 15th. this is good news.

want to know something else that's great? i went to my victorian lit prof, and he said my paper about arthur conan doyle/sherlock holmes/piltdown man hoax (look it up, it's fun) is pretty much fine as is, so that means i don't have to do much to it before i hand it in on tuesday. this is more good news.

and finally, i, against my better judgement, requested to be a guest blogger on the fashion/eating blog T Minus T Plus!

so, i kind of hope she says yes, but that will absolutely mean I have to pick out some crazy cute outfit that is also flattering. um, i am excited at the prospect. i must say, i think my outfit today is pretty darn cute. i like my polka-dotted shirt.

oh! and more fun news: i went shopping today and bought a really cute skirt. i don't ever wear skirts (mostly for the chub-rub factor: all that thigh rubbing is painful), but it was 9.99 at this store in dover and it fit, so i couldn't pass it up. okay, i'm just blabbing now because i don't want to finish my presentation. but i need to get most of it done, so i can go see star trek tonight, and then go see my mother tomorrow, without feeling bad.

procrastination rears its ugly head

i know this is exactly what i post at the end of EVERY semester, but it seems even more hopeless this time around. of course everything will get done, because it has to get done, but i just really, really don't want to do it. two of my papers are going great: grammar and victorian lit. i like writing them, they are interesting, and best of all, fairly short (both around 10 pages). i feel like i'm doing worthwhile work in them, and that feels really good.

but this other paper? it's going to be the death of me. it's for shakespeare class, it's my "extended seminar paper" which is the equivalent of a master's paper only shorter, so it counts a lot, and i just cannot get motivated to start it. why? because i hate the topic. i just really don't care about literacy in renaissance england, or how that pertains to thomas lodge's rosalynd. nobody else cares about it either (when i told my prof. what i was thinking of doing, he said, "well, that's not really my area of interest, and i don't really think anyone else is doing that, so, i guess go for it.") all in all, he is not particularly interested in it, and neither am i. it's making writing it far more difficult. in addition, alexa was talking to him the other day (they are buddies, he's a young prof teaching his first graduate class), and he totally admitted that he was lazy, hadn't graded a bunch of our other stuff, and he has papers he needs to write that aren't written yet. basically this could work in one of two ways: the first way is that it could be fantastic! he has all this other work to do, he doesn't particularly care about my paper anyway, and he doesn't have time to grade it. this turns into a good grade for me, because he just has no idea what's going on. the OTHER way it could go, though, is that he feels that he has to compensate for his laziness by taking it out on us via grading system. he might get lost in the nit-picky because he doesn't know much about my topic, and give me a bad grade because he's bored.

UGHHHHH. two weeks. two weeks. two weeks. and it's done.

spring!

spring is here for real! there are leaves on the trees, flowers in the dirt, and bugs in the air. everything is bursting with life and color! it feels really great.

you know what else feels really great? i tried on my cap and gown the other day...and it felt good. oh, it felt good. i get a velvety white stripe on my hood! it's really exciting. now, if i could just get all the work done, i'd rest assured that the cap and gown won't go to waste.