i need space! and friends.

Okay, so, for all you four people who read my blog: I am back. I am back because I need a space. I need a space because lately (no one's fault but my own) I feel isolated. As we all know, the Internet does wonders for the isolated (physically or emotionally--Second Life, anyone?)

Moving on.

I think I'm suffering from wedding apathy. Maybe it's because it doesn't feel real yet, or maybe it's because we've been rushing through the planning, but I'd be happy as a clam just taking a jaunt over to town hall to get the whole thing over with this weekend. Here is an example: for some reason, it doesn't seem overly crazy to just drive to the chapel in a regular car, rather than a limo. It's just going to be myself and my sister in the limo, right? And then on the way back it's just going to be myself and Pete. It just doesn't make much sense to me to spend money on something that is totally and completely for show, and which, on top of that, stirs up feelings of motion sickness. I understand that 99% of weddings are just for show, so I guess there goes that argument, but I don't know...I feel like a freshly-washed and waxed minivan wouldn't be the worst thing ever. Maybe it would.

On top of things like that, I have been eating. I mean, eating a lot more sweets and snacks than I have been in the past couple months. I was doing FANTASTIC with weight loss, if I do say so myself. I only have about 15 more pounds until I get to the goal I set for myself (not the ultimate goal, but a smaller one). I think I'm stressed about being apathetic, and it's feeding my feedings, if you get my drift. I am a stress eater, for sure, and it has been SO HARD to avoid treats. So hard, in fact, that I haven't been avoiding them at all. I always said I would be one of those people who, as soon as they are engaged, go on an immediate starvation diet of cough drops and lemon water, just to look good at the wedding. Instead, I have shown myself to be one of those brides who needs to buy a second wedding dress because hers no longer fits. That hasn't happened yet, but if habits don't change...

So, I'm hereby making a promise to myself, and to you, dear readers. I am going to be more salad, and less cookie. I am going to be more exercise, less lounge. And I am going to be more proactive, and less apathetic, because the latter is actually stressing me out more.

It's just a confusing and stressful time. But not, if you know what I mean.