interview!

i have an interview on thursday morning at the community college in nashua! on the one hand, sad that it's not around dover. on the other hand, YAY job interview! it's just an adjunct position (no bennies, sadly), but hey, it's a job. i can pick up a shift at starbucks or blockbuster for insurance, i suppose. maybe i would be able to afford an apartment! that would be so amazing. i would be like, a real adult. i know i shouldn't jump the gun, but i can't help being excited.

:)

i let the car be the deciding factor

so, i'm not doing americorps after all. the timing just isn't right. my car is about to collapse on itself, and i can't be two hours away without any kind of transportation to get to work or to get home. it just wouldn't work, especially in the winter.

but someday!

in response to brooke, the relay went well! it was tiring, but fun and well worth-it. they made 87,000 dollars at our event alone, and they were holding TONS of them throughout the country the same weekend and the weekend before. so, it's a good thing.

in other news, i either have a partially blocked tear duct or conjunctivitis. i went to the clinic today and i've started on antibiotics so that either way i'm covered by the time friday rolls around. nobody has to worry about catching it, if that's even what it is. who knows. all i know is that it's really annoying and i just want it to go away.

relay tonight

this evening is the Relay for Life at alvirne and i have to admit...i'm kind of dreading it. from 6 pm until 10 am we'll just be walking and chilling, which sounds like a grand old time, but i really can't stand about 3/4 of the people on our team so i think it's going to be a bit like torture. not to mention the next day, instead of sleeping, i have to go to a graduation party and a recital. i might have to rethink a couple of those things.

the PORT center in freeport called me today, and it sounds like (i let them leave a message) i might have the recommendation if i want it. getting jobs is scarier than not getting them...ahhh, the great unknown. but it's FREEPORT, which is so cute, and it's on the water, and it sounds like pretty much the best job ever, and even though it's volunteering and i don't make any money, all the things i'll get to do will look good on my resume.

the ONE hitch is that my car is seriously on its last leg. today i'm going to bring it to jiffy lube (ha, almost spelled it "loob") to get the transmition flushed, or whatever they do, but seriously, it's totally a piece of garbage. ugh. that's the one thing i'm trying to figure out. like, will it last me another year? i just do not know. but i'm trying not to let the car be my deciding factor.

good day/ bad day

i'll do bad day first:

so, sims will never work on my computer. ever. why? because my video/graphics card thing is only 64 MB. guess how much sims needs? 128. that's right. my computer is probably the only computer made in the last five years with less than 128 MB for this. i'm BEYOND angry. or at least, i was. i'm kind of at peace with it now, even though i've just made all these improvements to my computer for no reason. at least i can rest well knowing i've just made it possible for my computer to last like five years longer...although, what's the point, if you can't play games on it? 

now i have to make the decision about whether to sell the game, or keep it and just play it on OTHER PEOPLE'S COMPUTERS. of course, the only time i ever want to play is when i'm ALONE, so this doesn't really add up. but i can't bear to get rid of it just yet... i just loved it so much. so, so much.

good day:

yesterday i had two really great interviews with people from two different AmeriCorps sites. After the first one the woman called back an hour later and said, "Well we still are supposed to interview more people but we just have such a GREAT feeling about you! We just want you here working with us!" and that, of course, felt really nice. i've been feeling like a total loser with no future, so it was nice to hear someone thought i sounded like a great candidate for something. the second interview that day went really well, also, and to be honest i'd rather have the second than the first, but it's nice to have an option. i'm still a little torn about a paying job versus volunteer job, but i really think AmeriCorps will help me get some skills on the ol' resume.  i DO need a new car though...and the interest on my private loans just keeps piling up. but, that debt will ALWAYS be there. it's not like it's going to go away in a year anyway, so what's the difference, really? besides, the one i want is in freeport, which is a nice little town. and it sounds like a sweet little job (just me and the supervisor and that's IT, and she was pretty great on the phone, and i'd get to do exciting things like GRANT PROPOSAL WRITING and HANGING OUT WITH KIDS ALL DAY and GOING ON FEILD TRIPS). so...yes. i don't know still. but that second one is sounding mighty good.

that's all. that's my current update. oh, and i got some stuff from the battises today for the yard sale. AND mr. and mrs. battis told me i could have the blue chair that's in the garage, so YAY! they joked that there might be mice...i sincerely hope that this is truly joshing... :/. ha.

today is a better day

last night was awful. i pretty much cried myself to sleep stressing out about finding a job. what i woke up today and realized (thanks to a long conversation with pete) is that it isn't really a race. i have a family that loves me very much and wants me to do well. they will help me out if i need it, and they will do whatever it takes to make sure i'm happy. that is such a giant blessing, and one that in all my angst i took for granted.

that said, i do have a lot of stressful things on my plate at the moment (where will i live after july? what will i be doing? what else needs to be done for this anniversary party? where else should i be sending my resume? who hasn't r.s.v.p.'d yet? will we raise enough money at the yard sale for the relay?) it doesn't mean i have to flip out about it constantly. i'm going to make the conscious decision to take it one step at a time.

also, my wonderful father let me know about a woman (mrs. bancroft...jim's mom) he knows who works at the local community college and said she was looking for adjuncts. so, even though adjuncts don't lead the best life (no bennies, for example) it is a step in the right direction, i think. i sent her an email with my resume about five minutes ago.

and today i bought the operating system i needed for sims! so now i can play!

and i have two interviews for americorps positions on thursday. one i'm not sure i want, but we'll see how it goes.

so, my life is not that bad. in fact, it isn't bad at all. :)

perspective, perspective, perspective.

buzz word: qualified

i am tired, so this will be short. i just felt the need to post because it's been a while.

i did not get the librarian job. they didn't even call me. they just sent me an email that said i had neither the experience nor the qualifications. actually, i kind of prefer this email, because it doesn't make me feel bad about myself at all. it just makes me think i wasn't qualified, which is probably a little untrue, but still a quantitative...rather than qualitative...reason. i feel it wasn't because i'm a terrible person, or worse, a stupid one. just under-qualified. i can take that. this was a repetitive paragraph. i won't change it.

now i'm waiting on one final transcript so i can submit it to the local private high school. i stupidly told someone i know (who has a master's in education (i didn't know this!) and has also been teaching at a high school for four years and is looking for a new job) and now he says we will be "competitors." i said it's only competition if both people have a chance. next to him, i am pretty much right out. so maybe he'll forget about it and i can apply without worrying. i mean, i know there are going to be lots of other people vying for this job, but i don't like it when i know them... especially when i know they are much more highly qualified than myself.

and finally, i had my americorps VISTA preliminary interview today and it went well, so that made me feel good about myself. at least it will be a job for a year that will look good on resumes and hopefully teach me some valuable skills (so that i will finally feel qualified?). not to mention volunteering is just plain good for society. but...it would be nice to also pay some bills. i don't know. my feelings of inadequacy are bubbling to the surface--i feel like a total loser.

and to add to my loseryness, i just bought sims 3! it is AMAZING (you can finally make people evil), but it does not run on my computer. what? that's right. my operating system is one too old...so now i'm thinking about buying a new one. not a new computer! just a new OS. but i'm torn about that, too, because the current one (leopard) is about to get an update (snow leopard) and because it's stupid mac, nobody knows when or how soon. everyone just says it's coming in the next few weeks or so. in the meantime, i can't play my game (unless i install it on someone else's computer...which i did. but it ran really slow on brooke's because she already had a lot of stuff on her computer. so. i don't know. it was great to use it. but obviously brooke needs her computer). wah wah wah. i just want to build an evil empire.