buzz word: qualified

i am tired, so this will be short. i just felt the need to post because it's been a while.

i did not get the librarian job. they didn't even call me. they just sent me an email that said i had neither the experience nor the qualifications. actually, i kind of prefer this email, because it doesn't make me feel bad about myself at all. it just makes me think i wasn't qualified, which is probably a little untrue, but still a quantitative...rather than qualitative...reason. i feel it wasn't because i'm a terrible person, or worse, a stupid one. just under-qualified. i can take that. this was a repetitive paragraph. i won't change it.

now i'm waiting on one final transcript so i can submit it to the local private high school. i stupidly told someone i know (who has a master's in education (i didn't know this!) and has also been teaching at a high school for four years and is looking for a new job) and now he says we will be "competitors." i said it's only competition if both people have a chance. next to him, i am pretty much right out. so maybe he'll forget about it and i can apply without worrying. i mean, i know there are going to be lots of other people vying for this job, but i don't like it when i know them... especially when i know they are much more highly qualified than myself.

and finally, i had my americorps VISTA preliminary interview today and it went well, so that made me feel good about myself. at least it will be a job for a year that will look good on resumes and hopefully teach me some valuable skills (so that i will finally feel qualified?). not to mention volunteering is just plain good for society. but...it would be nice to also pay some bills. i don't know. my feelings of inadequacy are bubbling to the surface--i feel like a total loser.

and to add to my loseryness, i just bought sims 3! it is AMAZING (you can finally make people evil), but it does not run on my computer. what? that's right. my operating system is one too old...so now i'm thinking about buying a new one. not a new computer! just a new OS. but i'm torn about that, too, because the current one (leopard) is about to get an update (snow leopard) and because it's stupid mac, nobody knows when or how soon. everyone just says it's coming in the next few weeks or so. in the meantime, i can't play my game (unless i install it on someone else's computer...which i did. but it ran really slow on brooke's because she already had a lot of stuff on her computer. so. i don't know. it was great to use it. but obviously brooke needs her computer). wah wah wah. i just want to build an evil empire.